So the day has come and gone, and you are now officially a dad! Congratulations! But what if the birth didn’t go to plan? And what if she thinks it did? Or vice versa. Oh the dilemma, do you fight it out – because clearly you were better place to know what actually transpired?
Or do you go along with her birth story? Or do you accept that there may be two (or more) acceptable versions of truth?
Recalling birth stories can be a sensitive matter, especially if one party is wearing rose coloured glasses or one is Mr/s negative about the happiest day of your life. Does it really matter?
I am not writing this to give you a clear answer, just a warning. Take caution when attempting to modify someone’s birth story.
If you have concerns that your partners recollection is potentially harmful to them, then you can discuss this with a child health nurse, your general practitioner (doctor) or with a counsellor or therapist who specialises in perinatal mental health.
If your stories are simply different, with no harm in that, then just try to appreciate the different perspectives, without the need to correct her.
Sometimes a person stands at a window and sees the beautiful garden outside, sometimes one stands and cannot see beyond the dirt on the window. Both perspectives are real, yet so totally different. Perhaps this difference is what makes the two of you work so well together – so recall the differences with kindness and love; and forget about who is right and wrong!